I Aspire
by Chocoangel
Summary: Miyu wanted to see Kanata just this once, before sleep took over her; forever… Sequel to When You're Gone…Read and Review…


**Disclaimer: Daa!Daa!Daa! Is the sole property of Mika Kawamura. But this story belongs to me…**

**Summary: Miyu wanted to see Kanata just this once, before sleep took over her; forever… Sequel to When You're Gone…Read and Review…**

**AUTHOR'S notes:-**

Hey I am extremely sorry for not updating, at all. Well I am super busy…

Btw this story is dedicated to all those students, like me, who worked and slogged over textbooks like a donkey only to be asked questions that were totally out of the syllabus…

This story is written in sheer depression…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh

Btw again, this is the sequel of When You're gone…

I was thinking of making it a happily ever after but I changed my mind….

Please read it though…

_**I Aspire**_

As I lie on the hard hospital, waiting for the inevitable, only one thing, more like only one person came to my mind…

KANATA SAIONJI

He had plagued my thoughts, words, actions and was actually my only hope that helped me fight all those nausea attacks away…

I had yet not told him that I was here, not just him, I had not told anyone…

None other than my parents knew about me having Blood Cancer; last stage…

There was no going back, no guarantee that I would wake up tomorrow, no hope that I would see Light…

"_I aspire of the night_

_That earthen silence of the night._

_I aspire that light of dawn_

_Humming toward the quite morning._

_I aspire of light, oh…_

_I aspire of to smell those flowers so fragrant._

_I aspire to have the taste_

Of craziness of two lovers."

When I had called him, a year and a half ago, I never knew we would rejoin our severed cord of friendship. There have been many calls since then, but not once did I have the courage to tell him that I was, I still am truly, madly and deeply in love with him. He never spoke of a girl but one day when he had called, I heard a feminine voice, Akira's voice and all the remaining resolve in me to confess just faded away, flowed away in a perennial river of tears…

A negative, degrading, angry emotion has taken control of me since and I have ignored Kanata since then. The carefree, bubbly, happy-go-lucky, smiling Miyu Kouzuki had gone away, away to some far, distant brutal world…

"_I aspire to have_

_A whiff of the pungent pangs of anger_

_Between Those crazy lovers._

_I aspire to touch_

_Those clouds playing with the ice_

_I aspire to touch my lover_

_I wish this life were a child's play…"_

The nurse comes and pumps in my prescribed dosage of medicine. The pain is excruciating but there are no more tears left in my eyes. I have cried all my tears off… tears of pain, tears of denial, tears of my cursed fate, and tears for my lost love…

All I want is to see Kanata, just this once, at least hear his voice and tell him every bit of my feelings, scream at him for all the pain that he has caused me, thank him for all those wonderful memories, see him smile…

::Ring::

My mobile is ringing but I don't want to pick up…

I know beforehand that it would be a call from some god-forsaken well wisher who will assure me about getting well soon…

It cannot be Kanata as he doesn't have my mobile number. He was just not like all the other guys who needed only the personal number, but he could have asked at least once…

I wish I can sleep…

"_I aspire of nights with those sleeping peels _

_Of those sweet lullabies of dreams._

_I aspire to listen of those unsaid words of morning dew._

_I aspire to listen to my lover's voice._

_I wish this life had gone to sleep without saying or listening…"_

I really hoped God had killed me without this warning. That would have saved me all this regret, all this frustration, all this wanting, all this desperation…

::Ring::

God, people can really be inconsiderate. Here I am sick to death and they just can't leave me alone, alone with me and my memories of Kanata.

Before my patience weans away, I pick up that damn phone.

"Hey Miyu, how are you, it's Jake, your schoolmate. I heard what happened and all… just called to…." , I disconnected the call.

I was right. Another one of those fake sympathy calls.

"_I aspire of the night_

_That earthen silence of the night._

_I aspire that light of dawn_

_Humming toward the quite morning._

_I aspire of light, oh…_

_I aspire of to smell those flowers so fragrant._

_I aspire to have the taste_

Of craziness of two lovers."

Wallowing in self pity has never helped anyone so I look at my mobile which I had just switched off. If I call Kanata and tell him now, will he get angry?

Before I can ponder over it a terrible pain conjured up in my head and shot all over my body…

I didn't have much time left…

Why should I die with my feelings unsaid? If he got angry, it wouldn't make any difference to me…

I pick up my phone and call…

::dialing tone::

"Hello" came his muffled, firm and monotonous voice.

"Kanata" , I managed to whisper, " I…called t-to… s-ssay….th-that I LOVE… LOVE YOU…"

"_Anything to feel that light of dawn_

_Humming toward the silent morning"_

And that pall of doom set, the deafening silence, fell upon me, I slipped into a reverie, a peaceful reverie….

The cardiac monitor stopped beating and so did the aspirations…

"_Miyu_, I love you too…. Miyu, are you there…."

"_I aspire of light, oh…I aspire"_

**AUTHOR'S notes:-**

I know it is nothing new and actually sort of horrible… and this song, the one in italics is called "Shauk Hai"… I have translated it from Hindi and I tried to make it sound like a song but it seems to be more like a poem… so is it!

And I know the grammar is all messed up but I actually wanted to post something…

My Indian friends would know more … it's that unreleased song, which is Vidya Balan's background music in Guru…

Dear readers, please drop in a review… That will make my day…

And Thanks to all those wonderful reviews that you sent earlier…

Thank you all….


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